Vendors: No API? Go away.

It’s halfway through 2017.

Cloud infrastructure is all the rage. We’re running code without provisioning servers that is billed in 100ms increments. We are spinning up docker swarms, automating infrastructure, and building our own systems to meet the needs of the businesses we represent. Our whoozwits are talking to our dinglehoppers, and our widgets exchange data with our gookinschpinkles.

If the product you are trying to sling at me doesn’t have a working and well documented API, you are wasting my time. I don’t care how good it is. if I can’t integrate it with everything else I’m doing now and for the life of the product without buying another whatsadoozit or grazzlerazzel from you, then you might as well be doing your well oiled sales pitch into the mirror.

It’s like that cute girl or boy you dated for a while: they were super smart, cute, had all kinds of talent, but they simply didn’t apply themselves to anything and there was no clear end to their pattern of behavior in sight. They were simply a drain on your emotions, your wallet, and your time.

“Ain’t nobody got time for dat.”

(PS – I’m no developer, but even I can use a REST API. Hashtag funnywords)